Mary Sue and Gary Stu Save the World
by Doctor Strangelove
Summary: Sequel to Mary Sue and Gary Stu Get It On. Not quite so erotic. A dark, powerful, and evil force coughVoldemortcough is threatening Hogwarts. Plus Mary Sue is having flashbacks to her tragic and mysterious past. Can Gary Stu save the day?


TITLE: Mary Sue and Gary Stu Save the World

  
RATING: PG-13  
SPOILERS: Goblet of Fire and the fic "Mary Sue and Gary Stu Get It On"  
FEEDBACK: I'd love it.  
DISCLAIMER: J. K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter people. I own Mary Sue and Gary Stu. Sort of. They're more like ideas. I wonder what the first Mary Sue was.  
A/N: For those of you who don't know Mary Sue is an absolutely perfect female character that absolutely everyone loves. Gary Stu (though he occasionally goes by different names) is the male equivalent. Go read "What Is A Mary Sue?" by H.L.B. for a good description. Welcome to the much anticipated, well, anticipated by this one guy I know anyway, sequel to "Mary Sue and Gary Stu Get It On". You don't have to read it first, but it explains a lot of things. For those of you who did read it first, ignore the last part of the ending, where they get married and have twins. In this, they're still at Hogwarts during their sixth year. Enjoy!

Mary Sue gave a content sigh and snuggled up against the love of her life, Gary Stu. The two had just had amazing sex, sex so good it made you want to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes when you were finished. But Mary Sue would never do that because smoking is bad, and doing so would be considered a character flaw. She wiped her long, flowing, brilliant, shiny, bouncy, coconut-scented, wavy, curly, bleach-blonde hair out of her face and sighed again. Something was troubling her. Ever since the end of her fifth year at Hogwarts (although technically it was her first year, she and Gary Stu had both transferred from America last year) she had been having strange visions of things to come. She'd been dreaming of horrible things happening and of the horrible things that had already happened. And of horrible things that had yet to happen and horrible things that would most likely never happen. She also dreamed of David Duchovny, but that's not important to this story.

*GRATUITOUS FLASHBACK SCENE*

A much younger, but no less beautiful, Mary Sue walked up the steps to her glorious mansion. It was a very windy day and the wind was blowing her dark auburn hair all around. She had reached the gate when she was thrown back by a large green explosion that had flattened her five-story house into rubble. Her house, and parents who were unfortunately inside when it crumbled, had been reduced to mere ashes. But at least Mary Sue's hair was still okay. 

*END GRATUITOUS FLASHBACK SEQUENCE* 

Gary Stu wrapped his strong, muscular, beefcake arms around Mary Sue and stroked her raven black hair. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." 

Mary Sue wiped the tears away. "But, but how did you know." 

"I read the flashback sequence." 

"Oh." Mary Sue wiped her eyes, again, and snuggled against her ruggedly handsome lover's chest and tried to sleep. 

But she couldn't. 

So, instead, Mary Sue and Gary Stu stayed up half the night playing Travel Scrabble™. But they played it in a very dark and serious manner. And used all sorts of words like angst, and past, and mystery, and foreshadowing, and otter (it was a triple word score). So all through the night they played, unaware of the great evil that lurked just a few paragraphs ahead. 

Mary Sue and Gary Stu entered the Great Hall to much acclaim. People cheered and threw things like roses and money and even a brassiere. Reports indicate that the brassiere came from either Crabbe or Goyle. Why with all the cheering and throwing of undergarments, a passerby might think it was Mary Sue & Gary Stu Day. When in fact that was a good three weeks away. 

Over at the Gryffindor table , Ron, Harry, and Hermione were watching in awe. 

"You know, Harry," Hermione said, never taking her eyes of the fantastic duo. "It must be nice, having Gary Stu take all the fame and being the most popular guy at Hogwarts, and possible even the world. Now people just ignore you." 

"Mmm," Harry moaned, "Very nice." 

"It's no wonder everybody adores him," Ron commented, "I mean Gary Stu is the new captain of the Quidditch team. Not only that, but he plays every position but Seeker. He left that for our Harry." 

"And," Hermione added, "He and Mary Sue are tied for the best grades in the history of Hogwarts." 

Harry nodded, "Yes, yes, and let's not forget about his ass." Ron and Hermione sighed in agreement as Harry continued, "I don't think I've ever seen anybody so spectacular. I mean, there's no other guy in Hogwarts that handsome, smart, athletic, sexy..." 

Harry was interrupted as Draco popped up from beneath the table, "You know, Harry, that obsession of yours is really getting old." He complained as he wiped off his mouth. 

"Oh, sorry, Draco," Harry apologized and Draco went back underneath the table to do... whatever it is he was doing beneath the table. 

"Trouble with Malfoy, Harry?" Ron asked. 

"Yeah, I called out Gary Stu's named in bed the other night." 

"Oh, you said someone else's name during sex?" 

"No, not sex. We were just laying in bed and suddenly I shouted 'I LOVE GARY STU!'" 

Meanwhile, at the Mary Sue and Gary Stu table (you see, they were so amazing and wonderful they'd been given there own house, and the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were forced to share, but no one cares about them so it doesn't matter) Mary Sue and Gary Stu were eating their breakfast. Mary Sue brushed her shiny red hair out of her eyes and adjusted the matching, tight bustier she was wearing Neither really needed adjusting, but Mary Sue liked to keep up appearances. Mary Sue was about to take a bite of a delicious waffle™ when her eyes went wide and she fell to the floor. 

Mary Sue's body started convulsing and her eyes turned white. Everyone in the Great Hall rushed over to see what had happened to the Mary Sue-rific Mary Sue. Dumbledore and the other professors stood around helpless, there normally great powers temporarily forgotten until they would prove useful later. Gary Stu held his love in his arms, inexplicably shirtless. Gary Stu was shirtless, not Mary Sue. No one really minded. 

No one also knew, at the time, but Mary Sue was having another gratuitous flashback sequence. 

*ANOTHER GRATUITOUS FLASHBACK SEQUENCE* 

A much younger, but no less beautiful, Mary Sue walked up the steps to her glorious mansion. It was a very windy day and the wind was blowing her dark auburn hair all around. She had reached the gate when she was thrown back by a large green explosion that had flattened her five-story house into rubble. Her house, and parents who were unfortunately inside when it crumbled, had been reduced to mere ashes. But at least Mary Sue's hair was still okay. 

She- 

*END ANOTHER GRATUITOUS FLASHBACK SEQUENCE* 

Mary Sue's suddenly flashed open. The entire student body and all the adults of Hogwarts were staring at Mary Sue. 

"That's it!?" Ron asked, pretty indignant with Mary Sue, proving that he is a stupid asshole. No one gets indignant with Mary Sue! "That's the same damn flashback you had at the beginning. It was just copied and pasted." 

"Well, I had more, but I was interrupted." 

"Oh, sorry." 

"You should be." 

Suddenly Mary Sue started to convulse again and once more went limp in Gary Stu's arms, now inexplicably missing pants. Again, Gary Stu, not Mary Sue. Again, no one really minded. 

*YET ANOTHER GRATUITOUS FLASHBACK SEQUENCE* 

A much younger, but no less beautiful, Mary Sue walked up the steps to her glorious mansion. It was a very windy day and the wind was blowing her dark auburn hair all around. She had reached the gate when she was thrown back by a large green explosion that had flattened her five-story house into rubble. Her house, and parents who were unfortunately inside when it crumbled, had been reduced to mere ashes. But at least Mary Sue's hair was still okay. 

She cried. 

*END YET ANOTHER GRATUITOUS FLASHBACK SEQUENCE* 

"There," Mary Sue asked, "That better?" 

Everyone looked around and nodded in agreement, "Yeah, we're satisfied." 

"Good. I'm gonna go into a coma now." Mary Sue's eyes snapped closed and she lay in Gary Stu's arms comatose. Gary Stu was now just down to a thong. He also had it on backwards so it didn't really do anything. 

He looked down at his beloved and feared for her very life. Mary Sue's don't have a good survival rate in Action/Adventure fics. 

TO BE CONTINUED... 


End file.
